The Animal
Primal Instinct
The defining characteristic of a man. At least for me it is.
This is knowledge I’ve had my whole life. I’ve known this, gravitated towards it and never made an exception on partnering without it. No one taught me. But I sense it, and recognize it immediately. It is instinctual. Potentially the animal in me recognizing the animal in him.
Now, recently I made a concession. For the first time ever I agreed to entertain someone without this element. How’d it go, you may ask? It went… Well that’s it. It went and I said no thank you, affirming what I knew all along.
Okay Eleanor. I’m pretty sure I know what you mean … But give me the details so I’m picking up what you’re putting down.
The primal instinct is the protective shield, sexual ravishment and the dark knight. All attributes required for women to trust, which is a key element in feeling safe.
Before we break down these elements further, I would like to discuss two archetypes that I describe in the video below.
Both practice different strategies in making women feel safe and secure. The “good guy” is displaying self-mastery, the “bad boy” exhibits primal instinct. I am simplifying these archetypes for the sake of having a concise conversation, but I do recognize there is a spectrum. For more details and personal stories click on the video. To sum up my observations, “Good Guys” have adapted to modern times and provide security through financial means and social standing. This provides an experience of safety for the woman through consistency and the comforts of modern-day living.
The “Bad Boy'“ appeals to women through ancient attraction with his instinct to act and react when a threatening force is present. This trait is encoded in such a way where it’s “second nature”. If dangerous conditions don’t present themselves to display his masculinity, this archetype will likely create his own circumstances. In this day in age, it’s probably rebellious, dangerous or illegal. This man creates an experience of safety for the woman by being a strong defensive player while visually displaying his strength and assertion.
Once again everyone is their own concoction, but I do feel no matter how socialized a man is in the corporate ladder, if he has the animal instinct, the undertone of his essence will radiate from his three-piece suit. I feel this presence is becoming less common and want to outline its importance.
Even though I find great interest in this idea, I don’t feel qualified to offer insight in “all things” masculinity. There are several aspects I won’t analyze because of my limitations being a woman, some of which I include below:
Is this element innate? In other words, does every man have the primal instinct?
I would like to say yes. It is my hope that every man has this quality, but from social expectations the instinct has been watered down and dormant. Although, inquiring from other men, I’ve been told the opposite; No, it is not in every man.
What makes a man a man?
I have some ideas from a feminine perspective. The truth of the matter is, men raise men. I deeply believe boyhood to manhood is facilitated by other men, not women. I can only speak as an observer and from my own experience about what is entailed.
Not all women like the bad boy or this attribute you’re describing.
Agreed and understood. This is from my perspective and preferences.
I’m here to contribute to the on-going conversation of masculinity and the impact it has on women. My hope is to articulate the importance of the animal within males and describe the detriments of its domestication.
Let’s begin.
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Author’s note: If you’re interested in learning more about how to apply these concepts personally, feel free to email me to schedule health & wellness consulting
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