Sexual Ravishment (2)
Feminine Comparison
Male & Female Archetypes
Taker vs Giver
Men:
The aggressor who dominates women, disregarding her confines vs. The spineless ‘yes’ man who doesn’t honor his own boundaries.
Women:
The emotionless seductress who makes up rules for her own gain vs. The overbearing mama bear who suffocates men’s autonomy with rules of “safety”.
Once again, these are extreme expressions of giving vs. taking, but the parallels are clear as day, and show up in different ratios.
Giving Archetype
Unlike taking, too much giving eliminates sexual polarity altogether.
Women who identify strongly as mothers are at risk for neutralizing sexual polarity if they don’t balance other archetypes. The feminine taker is a playful sex kitten, a fierce huntress, a strategic enigma. When these are embodied, she is taking control of what she wants and what she chooses to reveal. This discretion is a point of fascination for men.
In the U.S. mothering has become alarmingly connected with martyrdom. According to this script, true displays of motherhood mean to give everything at the expense of yourself.
If women are only giving, and not making any demands, those around her will take. This is the equilibrium.
The martyr mom mirrors the “nice guy” whose generosity is accompanied with a painful smile. To give and accommodate everyone else is a good deed, until it’s not.
If a woman is a strong nurturer, there is a lot to be said. It’s a valuable trait and a beautiful component of the feminine essence. However, I think it’s important to be mindful of balancing mama with the temptress. If the mother is all that’s there, the man will value, receive, maybe even provide and stay committed. But there’s no attraction or spice. Too much giving, not enough tempting. She’s too reserved to be ravished.
I’ve seen nurturing energy take out all the sexy in a relationship. He can’t ravish a mother.
The Importance
I believe the taker and giver have been misconstrued, which is negatively affecting intimacy between men and women.
In optimal expressions with both sexes, the taking energy communicates power, the appeal of confidence and taking the lead. But when unchecked by giving, it becomes impersonal, insensitive and predatory in nature. The excitement doesn’t feel safe; women feel threatened, men paranoid.
The optimal giving energy is a listening ear, relieves your stress and will acquiesce. But when unchecked by taking it becomes predictable, overly sensitive and weak. The giving becomes boring; women feel like something is missing, men become uninterested.
As stated earlier, social movements have created an ambiguous space where men are second guessing where they are welcome and what opportunities are fair game to take advantage of. The core desire of freedom as Deida described is left as a distant thought, the action to break free is seen as too harsh. The choice to take action in saying hello to a woman is interpreted as being an unsolicited perv. The dance of taking turns flirting and chasing has been flagged as dangerous territory without concrete consent. The protocol of a man taking ownership to care for a woman has been rejected by women taking things into their own hands and dismissing a man’s sense of responsibility as inappropriate and insulting.
All of the opportunities to take action, take turns, and take ownership has been deemed overbearing patriarchal nonsense.
What’s wild to me is taking is one of the greatest exchanges we can have when matched by its reciprocal of giving. The solution is to speak on the lack of reciprocity. Instead, the mainstream has vilified the animal instinct of taking even in its balanced form. This has exacerbated the problem, not solved it.
Healthy change occurs when we discern true danger from man’s nature.
Taking is effective, necessary and sexy.
The primal instinct exchanges resources with the world, finishes what it sets out to do and becomes the abrupt presence the life force needs when she’s probing the captain.
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