Sexual Expression 101
Wiring Electricity
What makes women sexy? How is it recognized? Who determines it? When is it enticing? When is it cheap? How does it work for some men and not others? Why is “sex sells” so effective for the masses, but cringey as an individual?
These are the questions of my most recent exploration. The root is deeper than a feminist uproar or provocative mental exercise. It’s about inhabiting my body as a woman, staying sharp to the influences around me and teaching my future generations the art of femininity. Something my predecessors didn’t have the privilege of passing down to me.
There’s much to discuss, but I want to start basic.
Sex appeal is a circulating energy. Like any other frequency, it needs a container or conduit to travel and express. For the sake of our conversation, I argue that sex appeal is the energy of the life force, women are the conductors.
(For more on this theory, review my series here)
The life force energy is also described as prana, chi or shakti depending on the geography or philosophy. I echo these principals in the Lover Archetype. She embodies the creative force the ancient teachings are describing.
The lover ignites attraction because she’s radiant. It’s a metaphorical light that mirrors electricity.
The electrical current of energy is what animates the physical form. Funny enough, it turns us on. The lover woman creates magnetism because she’s alive. Not just breathing, heart beating and shuffling around alive, but vibrant, radiant and free alive.
I’ve identified four expressions of how sex appeal translates. They are energetic transmissions I’ve read intuitively and this is my first time I’m putting into words. Each expression has a web of social influences and emotional reckoning. We’ll deepen our conversations around each, but for now let’s simplify and lay the ground work.
4 Expressions of Sexual Energy
1. Dormant
According to webster dictionary, dormant is “temporarily inactive or inoperative”
In regards to women, the creative energy simply isn’t seen or felt. She may be heady, tired, awkward, or even hardened. The thrill and freedom of creating her life, curating her appearance or delving into an artistic pursuit is not transmitted to the onlooker because it’s not animated in the body or mind. It’s like the lights are shut off, the electrons aren’t moving and there’s nothing “electromagnetic” about her.
2. Inviting
This is how I describe the appeal of the warm feminine archetypes. The energy is animated and you sense she’s open to sharing the current with you. Her invitation isn’t necessarily intercourse, but you can tell she’s available to connect. The invitation may be a smile, flirting or conversation. There’s a reception. It’s like she opened the window of her home to let the breeze in. There’s a figurative wire between you two for the electric current to flow.
3. Contained
The third expression is the realm of the cool feminine archetypes. She’s clearly sexy. The difference is she’s circulating the energy within her. You’ve come to knock on the door of a beautiful home, but you’re not sure if you’ll ever come in. She might step outside to discuss how you admire the exterior, but the mystery is the decoration within the interior. You’d love to be a wire for the conduct of energy, but electricity needs a conduit to travel, as a man it’s unclear how to be the connector.
4. Leaky
Unfortunately this is what I see most present in my personal surroundings and landscape online. There’s a hole in the container. The life force isn’t as vibrant, radiant or strong in it’s expression. It’s leaking out of the source, which weakens the integrity of the container. You can sense the force that’s within it, but the signature is weakened, distorted or watered down. This electricity is leaking. Flipping switches on the breaker is required for a reset (of mind and spirit).
Each expression has a distinct social narrative. I’ll explore the self-fulfilling prophecies, masculine response and social dogma that have contributed to each.
For now it’s a matter of recognizing the women in our lives. How does their electric system light up their expression? What illuminates in their eyes? When do they light up with excitement? Has their radiance diminished? What’s leaking? Have you ever noticed? Did they?
We come full circle. A list of questions to ponder.
Hopefully a few mental light bulbs lit up to answer.
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