Innocence
Innocence. This is one that needs clarification. Out of all three elements I feel innocence has been the most misconstrued and harmful to the female psyche.
So what does it have to do with the life force?
Ahh. It makes me happy thinking about it. The innocence of every person is a reflection of their child-like nature. It’s wonder, curiosity, play. It’s open to possibilities. This keeps the spirit young and the person vital. Creative thinking and playfulness is socialized out of us as time goes on. And even though we accept there’s more responsibilities, we loose the balance.
Children are innocent because of the awe with their surroundings. It’s a novel experience to explore and find joy in simple things. If you think of any time you have an exuberant amount of joy about something '“trivial” people will say “you’re such a big kid”.
I recognize we all experience trauma and hardship, and as more time passes it has potential to callous us. I’d like to argue as the aging process continues, you have the choice to become wise or bitter. For those that choose wisdom, something happens…you become care-free, things aren’t as serious any more or don’t hold as much weight.
I heard somewhere that children and elderly have a special relationship because they are closet to God. The youth just arrived from the other side and elders are about to return.
When I think of this, I can’t help but notice the similarity. Innocence doesn’t equate to naivete. It’s approaching every situation with fresh eyes, expecting to learn something new. It opens you to complete receptivity, not the expectancy of your human conditioning.
To transition into the polarity of the sexes I think of the home. Polarity is required for connection to take place, which is the charged attraction between the two. When we think of evolutionary psychology, men were tasked to hunt, go to war, and work labor-intensive jobs. It takes a lot of energy to provide, so when the providing has been done refueling is required. The home has been a space where revitalization occurs. And this is what I mentioned earlier.
Women act as a reminder for why men work as hard as they do.
After men have emptied their tanks in providing, the life force of joy, play and beauty act as a remembrance. There is more to this world than challenge, hunting and depletion. It’s a full circle moment when a man recognizes the other aspect of life he’s not as intimately familiar with.
“Okay we’re in 2022, not the paleolithic era.” I’ve observed that. Now women are working and providing. I’m of the belief we’re fit for our own ambitions, but need to operate on a different clock. One that represents the feminine timeline. The physical, mental, and emotional capacity of the sexes operate on a different cycle and cadence. Yet our work force is structured around a male biology.
As a result, both parties come home exhausted, women are tasked with providing and nurturing so they are depleted even quicker. The tiredness leads to irritation, nagging, conversations about what needs to be “done” so the polarity is lost, because the pole of the masculine is coming from both sides. I’m not saying we stop our 9-5 in the name of cooking and cleaning, but I want to offer this thought.
As a couple, there are left-brain conversations, to-do lists, and two-income dynamics to enjoy life. But where can you sneak in play? When does the bubbly excitement of a child occur? And how can you adventure with an open mind and heart? This is the innocence of a woman balancing modern expectations. It’s still there, most likely needs some space and permission to be.
When a woman holds this feminine pole, it elicits something from the man. Protection. As any woman knows the fierce protection of a mother bear instinct, the same capacity is in men and it’s not only reserved for children. The lightness of spirit, unfiltered joy, and innocence of being who you are, as you are… that requires a safe container to take place. And men have been tasked to know the elements that threaten the purity of life and have been mentally and physically equipped to instinctually eliminate them. And for that I am beyond grateful.
If I’m speaking of women and use the term “innocent” the association is sex. As I outlined above, that’s far from what I’m referring to. Yet the mainstream narrative would have us believe the more “innocent” means the less sexual partners, and therefore the more worthy. All the while making it clear that hyper-sexualization is also desirable, a perplexing dichotomy.
I mentioned in a previous podcast, being hyper-selective of your sexual partners is wise. But not for the reason we’ve come to believe: you’ve been handled and used less by men. God. It makes me cringe and deeply uncomfortable writing that.
To be intentional about this area of your life demonstrates patience, intentional intimacy, and a well thought out opinion of who you are and what aligns with your identity. This is true for both sexes.
The mass messaging has confused everyone. For women, instead of teaching discernment, their teaching suppression. As you can imagine, hazardous territory.
To deny the sexual nature of humans is foolish. What we’ve done is create a false belief that this aspect of humanity cannot be controlled. It certainly seems that way, since majority of advertising and marketing is catering to this primal urge. And it’s done so in a way that exploits the man’s predator instinct. Which is a complete detriment to the collective psyche.
To be a successful provider, men HAVE to engage their predator instinct. The task is to be a man of integrity and know where to channel this aspect of his psyche ie. entrepreneurship, competitive sport leagues, protecting his family from danger.
On the female side of the equation, women are either abiding by the cultural definition of “innocence” or rejecting it completely and prefer explicit expressions as a revolt.
Women have been dealt this impossible hand of the Madonna - Whore complex.
What to do? Where to go then?
It’s my belief for men and women to experience their divine polarity, we have to re-establish and nurture our relationship with the older generation.
The elders offered advice, patience, and story-telling to help guide the youth. Men learned to be men from other men, and women learned to be women from other women. Boys were held accountable for uplifting the treatment of women, and girls learned about their inherent power and how to identify proper partnership.
Now the rites of passage and identity formation is being curated from mass media.
We have this odd relationship with the older generations in the West, we find them burdensome and discard their health, insight and familial role.
I believe in my heart of hearts if we structure our culture to live multi-generationally, men and women have the best chance in unification. It’s from these teachings that we learn, recognize and dance between sacrifice and the life force.