Desirability
Women walk around with different types of confidence when it comes to being sexually desired.
Before we break it down, we need to outline what desirability means for modern women in 2023.
Attention.
And most likely virtual.
Where did this come from?
I’m sure there’s a plethora of answers, but I’d like to focus on America’s economy. Attention is the new currency.
What I find ironic is we’ve been “paying” attention the entire time. Now as a citizen, we are bombarded daily, even hourly with companies spending large sums of money in hopes we direct our attention to their service, product or at the very least, condition us to their branding.
The financial ecosystem is based on how much exposure they can garner. The more attention the more likely the profit. Unfortunately, attention seeking has become such big business, it’s the crux of every marketing strategy and sales technique.
As a result, focus and discipline have become increasingly rare. “The Long Game” a distant thought prior generations have known more intimately.
What does this have to do with a woman’s sexual desirability?
Everything.
Collectively, we’ve taken the premise of attention being the most valuable asset, not only in the financial market, but the dating pool as well.
I’ve seen women renegotiate their life’s desires for sporadic attention from men. I’ve seen men cut corners and create smoke screens with well-timed attention and affection. I’ve observed women talk themselves into circumstances below par because validation was given by another instead of herself. I’ve witnessed men pay more attention to women they don’t respect than the ones they do.
Today, for a woman to receive attention it’s most likely through sexual innuendos.
One thing is for certain, there seems to be no shortage on the fixation of sex. And like any good business, if there’s a demand there will be a supply.
So women are capitalizing on the new currency of attention. Some are even converting it to dollars. Others believe the male gaze is where all their power lies. Another group has prioritized attention as their most valuable asset, without diversifying their funds…
As Ester Perrel observed, business negotiations have more presence in romance, and emotional skills are new requirements in the workplace. We’ve interchanged the economic formula with intimate relationships.
All based on the game of value.
Those who are the most valuable are the most desirable.
The most desirable have the most sexual connotation.
The most sexual have the most attention.
Those with attention appear to have it all.
Back to the top.
Women display two types of confidence.
Feeling their power derives from sexual urges. They capitalize on cardinal desires to receive attention and validate their desirability. Confirming their worth by being the target of sexual conquest. Even if capable in other areas, will use sex appeal as primary strategy or secondary default.
Understand that sex is a means of great influence, but recognize it’s short term and appeals to a man in isolation as opposed to the whole person. Sense of worth is multi-faceted. Feels comfortable in any domain to achieve goals.
Want to know the rub for confidence # 1?
If your worth is based on desirability, your esteem is based on externalities. Self-esteem is constructed by how worthy you perceive yourself to be.
If your perception of self-worth is founded on people, places, and things, your subjected to the constant change that is life. If something changes your worth is up for negotiation.
If your worth is up for negotiation, your esteem is unstable. If your esteem is unstable, you’ll attempt to stabilize it. How will you attempt to reground?
Confidence #1
or
Confidence #2
I believe wanting to be desirable is natural and normal. I even believe it’s necessary for intimacy and ambition. What I’d like to point out is the mainstream narrative is boxing it, repackaging and selling it cheap to confuse the hell out of you.
Desirability is a baseline package. It should be a given. Yet we’ve prioritized it to such a degree that life plans, personal dreams, standards, value systems and much more are discarded to experience feeling wanted. And unfortunately, not for your unique perspective or contribution, but how sexually palatable you are.
There are partners, job opportunities, social circles, activists and others that are looking for you. There is a spot for all of us where we are wanted and needed. But once again, that’s not to fuel your esteem. It’s a by-product of it.
Attention is not the enemy. Like every form of power, it’s how you wield it.
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