Demanding Titles

She's not annoying - it's universal law

When it comes to relating, there’s nothing wrong with going with the flow.

However, it’s important to realize there’s still a framework in which adaptability takes place.

The difference between flexibility and chaos is structure.

When it comes to relationships, I stand by the statement that men offer the container (structure of relationship), women accept or deny.

Yes, roles can be reversed. But for those of you who have a taste for “tradition” I’d like to share one of the most life changing lessons I’ve learned about men.

They know. They know exactly what they can offer. They know what position they are in and what they can do for you from there. They are crystal clear in their personal resources: money, time, emotions, mental stamina, availability and how they want to offer those to you.

And even if a woman can see beyond the current circumstance (because we have the sight to nurture potential) it’s important to not be in denial of what he offers.

The level of investment in you is his choice, and you honor his decision. If it’s not for you, claim that for yourself and stay open to something else.

So… let’s look at this. Men claiming they want to chill and get mad when women demand a title.

Her response is natural. It’s balance. It’s universal law. The flow needs the framework.

For women who claim he’s lost, unsure, or torn, I’d like to challenge he does know what he wants and what he’s willing to do. He has the mental architecture in his head and knows where you fit into. He just doesn’t want to say it. And women don’t want to hear it.

If he is unclear on what he wants or ambiguous in his offer, it’s one of two things.

1. He’s not genuine in his pursuit of connection but enjoys the perks in the meantime.

   Or

2. He is genuine in his pursuit of connection but doesn’t have things in place to make a proper offer.

Both are difficult conversations.

But we put too much pressure on one another and ourselves.

In all honesty, if you’re dating you are in a transition period. And maybe you’re ready for the end game. But I want to emphasize to women, it’s likely if he doesn’t have a clear answer, he’s building. He’s gathering. He’s debating. He’s figuring things out. He’s in between.

And men like company as much as women. Especially in “in between” times.

If you’re a woman who chooses to animate the feminine pole, I want to to remind you he knows the container he wants to or can offer you.

It’s a difficult conversation to claim something like: “I’m trying to get my money up in the next few years and want some company before I up level into my actual shit which may not include you.”

That’s why as a woman it’s important to be keen on what you observe, not what you imagine. And for men to lead with honesty. You might be surprised what the flow will be when your pitch your honest container.

Food for thought.

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